I hear the clock it's six am I feel so far from where I am Got my eggs, got my pancakes too Got my maple syrup, everything but you <3 Break the yolks, make a smiley face I kinda like it in my brand new place I wipe the spots off of the mirror Don't leave the keys in the door Never put wet towels On the floor anymore cause Dreams last for so long Even after you're gone I know you love me And soon you will see You were meant for me And I was meant for you

you Called my momma she was out for a walk Consoled a cup of coffee But it didn't wanna talk Picked up a paper, it was more bad news More hearts being broken Or people being used Put on my coat in the pouring rain Saw a movie it just wasn't the same Cause it was happy and I was sad It made me miss you oh so bad

Go about my business, I'm doing fine Besides, what would I say If I had you on the line Same old story, not much to say Hearts are broken every day Brush my teeth and put the cap back on I know you hate it when I leave the light on I pick a book up, Turn the sheets down Take a deep breath And a good look around Put on my pjs and hop into bed I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead I try and tell myself it'll be all right I just shouldn't think anymore tonight

to everyone that didnt know ... my new blog is gothichellokity
 so yea... go there from now on !!!

love yas ^_^

 ill never let you go ...

          i close my eyes and tell you how much i care ...

               then you smile and say to me ...

                    let me be your best of me ...

                         i close my eyes ...

                              babe dont you understand anything you ask me to ...

                                   ill do everything for you ...       

                                  you can be my everything tonight ...

                             you can be my angel and my light ...

                        i would be the one to love you right ... 

                   kissing and hugging all through the night ...

              let your love shine on me ...

         let your love set me free ...

take all of me with you ...

id give up forever to touch you ...

     cause i know that you feel me some how ...

          your the closest to heaven  that ill ever feel ...

               and i dont want to go home right now...

                    and all i can taste is this moment ...

                        and all i can breathe is your life ...

                              but sooner or later its over ...

                                   i just dont want to miss you right now ...

                                        when everything feels like the movies ...

                                               yea you bleed just to know your alive ...

                                                       i just want you to know who i am ...

                                                            i love you so much jesse <3

i just had the worst convo on the phone with my boyfriend ever ! i swear im driving our realationship right down the drain ... but i realized that after next year he will be leaving me for college (( i hate myself for failing )) i am probably not going to the same college as him and along with him go alot of my high school friends v.v and it hurts to know that i wont have him there and that i wont see most of my friends ever again because they are all gong to different colleges ! and im the only one that has been able to be happy about this for the longest cause i never really had the time to think about it because im not a serious person . im not prepared for the real world . im afraid of having a job . i dont even know where to start putting my life together .

oh and on top of all this im crying my eyes out because my foot hurts so bad (( just went through surgery )) one of those nights where u wish he were laying right next to you to take all the pain away but hes not . so you cuddle with everything of his you own to try and make it feel better but you just end up crying yourself to sleep !

good night all

i love you jesse *kiss*

bubbahotep
has tagged me ...

1. i am eating coco puffs right now !

2. i have like 5 wifes !

3. i am freezing my ass off and about to go out in nickers !

4.i took a zero on my math test !

5. from the surgury my toe looks grody !

guess wat ...

princessLOL
BluejaysDead
fatheranthrax

verminaardblood

rurouniinu16

"i need , i need your love like the flowers need the sun"                                                      

                    "to grow and reach the sky lets try to meet as one"                    

                                         "i need to feel your love i need you deep inside"                  

                                                            "put me on your rocket ship and take me out of sight"

                         i see stars ...          

                                                 do you see them to ...               

get to know me ...

grow to love me...

i got to know you ...

and now i love you just as much ...

zomg ppl r retarted .... im surrounded by everyday morons that dont kno anything ... i ..think im going to scream ...oh and p.s dumb ass ((biblohip)) exiting is like exiting a place ... exciting would be the word ur loooking for and damn it no wonder ur ass is single .... ur retarted !!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh and p.s. i went throught surgery and sha;ll be back at school tomorrow ..

jesse my love hope u feel better

luff yew crissy

*waves* 

biblohip
is retarted...

since you open this you have to read it...
this is a between a girl and a boy on their 7th year anniversary

-girl calls up boy: hey happy anniversary again
-boy: hi happy anniservary!... hey remember you wanted to tell me something after school? sorry i left so early i had to go to work. so what did you want to tell me?
-girl: i wanted to say i love you
-boy: yeah i know everyone does!
-girl: really?
-boy: yeah... everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday
-girl: oh... but am i only your friend?
-boy: no... youre my girlfriend... why?
-girl: so when i say i love you i really do mean it
-boy:yeah i know you do mean it... its just that you dont need to tell me that you love me anymore cuz i know you love me since the day we been together and i love you more each and everyday.
-girl: ......
-boy: so wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7th anni?
-girl: yeah... where?
-boy: i dont know... maybe movie then dinner?
-girl: ok
-boy:ill pick you put after i get off and get ready ok?
-girl: ok. what time do you get off?
-boy: in 2 hours and then i gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes about 15-20 mintues...
-girl: aye... i thought you didnt have work today...
-boy: one of my co-workers called in sick
-girl: oh okay! so ill see you around 7:30 then?
-boy: yeah! and babe?
-girl: yeah?
-boy: i love you
-girl: i love you too!
-boy: ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go.
-girl: ok bye
-boy:bye

2 hours later... the boy drives to his girlfriends house

boy walks up to the door and rings bell

-girl: hey! (gives a kiss to her boyfriend)
-boy:wassup... you ready?
-girl:um... wait... let me got my bag and we could go ok?
-boyk

they both watched a movie and ate dinner.... once they were done eating they head back to the car but before she got into the car...

-boy:wait! can i blind fold you?
-girl: why??!
-boy:its a suprise
-girl: what kind of suprise?
-boy: a big one
-girl: okay but only if you promise me that you will hold my hand while we're driving.
-boy: i promise.
-girl: ok blind fold me...

so they drove off........... and then they stoped.

-boyk we're here!
-girl: where?
-boy:wait let me walk you to the place!
-girl: what place?
-boy: somewhere! (and gives a kiss to her on the lips)
-girl: babe!...

the boy walks her to the place

-boy: ok.... let me take the blind fold off you
-girl: where are we?

he takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the city and at that same spot... thats where he first asked her to be his girlfriend...

-girl: omg.... (tears come down)
-boy: why are you crying?
-girl: this is where you first asked me out...
-boy: what are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees and after he says that...behind him... in the air it says "will you marry me?" in firworks)
-girl: (tears come down faster)
-boy: i wasnt at work when you called me... i was planning this whole thing!
-girl: get up!
-boy: yeah?
-girl: (kisses him)
-boy: is that a yes or a no?
-girl: yes

hokay ... i am ubber hyper now ... i just woke up and im ready to sprint down the street ... i not going to though because i have no where to sprint to v.v *sighs* another day in my house - give it a few hours and the borizum will take over me v.v

p.s. for all u ppl that r extremely bored over this spring break...hey come on over ..open invite ^_^ i never have ppl over cept jesse but he doesnt count cause hes my love so (( u can still come jesse just ur part of the family so this can count as house #2 for u )) be my guest ... i could use company

i think im going through a nervous break down or something ... i mean my life doesnt suck and so i cant figure out wat my prob is ...

i couldnt sleep all night because my tummy hurt really bad (( i am taking anti biotics and they make u throw up if u dont take it with food )) and i couldnt help but cry all night long ...!?!

i cleaned house because i wanted mom to be happy - she comes home and screams at me for the direction of the dogs water bowl and i burst into tears ...!?!

online i was talking ot danny trying to make him feel better about something and i felt like i wanted to die for almost no reason (( well i geuss u could say its cause of the fight me and mom had )) and i burst into tears 3 diff times before  he gave up on me ...!?!

in the shower i dropped to my knees crying asking myself y i was crying ...!?!

and i was playing mario in my moms room when i died and i got so pissed that i threw the remote across the room ... and it broke (( it was cordless to , very expensive ))

wat the hell is going on ...i only get like this around my mom .. after she left i felt fine .. i just had a head ache from all the crying and stuff ... now that she is back i wanna scream at her !?! im i crazy * cocks head to side * i need to get out of this house . im starting to feel trapped here ... IN MY OWN HOME  ... idk *sighs* maybe i just need some sleep ... good night everyone *waves* nanight jesse *blows kiss*   

p.s. i am rearranging my room and i need ubber back up over here >.< all my stuff is so heavy ... im gonna kill myself doing this v.v ...

watch me break something ...mother will have a fit...

                              ... love ya jesse ...

do u want to live for ever ...

i want to be forever young ...

do u want to live forever young ... 

                                                  depression is such a bitch                                    

i quit life... look at me im a ball of depression and all i do is make everyone unhappy  

im srry danny and jesse and who ever else i have done this to ...im fucked up...............................................  *is lifeless*

okie dokie ...

*sighs* ignore this ubber horrible blog v.v (( i should earse it )) i was having an emo moment ...

[=holy jesus i had no idea *slaps hands on face * ^_^ im gonna pinch you all =]

THIS MONDAY < 3/20/06 > IS MY 4 MONTH LOVE WITH THE MAN OF MY DREAMS

...

-THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW OUR LOVE BECAME -

jesse had known me from 9th grade (( i feel terrible about this but i never noticed him)) me and emerald / em .. we were real good friends ... i had this semi crush on a guy named patrick and she was dating jesse ...
i never really knew him i just knew him as jesse at our lunch table ... well holloween day i was sitting at the lunch table and they asked wat i was doing for holloween and i said nothing...
well jesse looked at me and asked if i wanted to go with them ... and sal said i was coming or he would kid nap me ...so i called my mom and said i was going to go home with jesse and when i got to his house it was just me and him (( em was grounded )) and we got to talking and stuff
well he stayed with me the whole night ...he never left my side because i didnt kno anyone and i guess maybe he felt bad ... well we were way behind the whole night so it was just me and him most of the time ... and we started talking and yeah we went back to coreys house that night because we were tired and he fell asleep on me...(( it was me laying on the couch and him using me as a pillow )) and as i was laying there
i noticed how much i liked him ...how great person he was and all (( him and em were having probs at this time ,she was telling me )) but i wasnt even thinking of em the whole night ...all i could do was think to myself how much i liked to be near him... and how happy he made me < i hadnt been truely happy in some time > and i couldnt think of not being near him...
that night i drove home thinking of how bad i was for liking my best freidns boyfriend  ...and i could barely face her the next day ...but i wanted them to be happy together so i wrote him a note asking wat was up with him and em ... i wanted to be a good friend to them both ... well he wrote me back saying that he thought of me as one of his best girl-friends and he gave me his # and aim address and said that if  i needed to talk to someone that he was there for me

well i saw him on aim one day and said "hi" real fast but he made convo so we talked ...well i became so bad ..i guess u could say ...i started jumping on the computer every chance i got to talk to him... even invited him to the movies as friends...
i went to his house and(( with danny and matt there ))we started watching a movie and i laid my head on his shoulder and realized wat i had done so i said srry ..he said it was fine (( im dence so i didnt kno he liked me )) and told me to lay my head back down so i did ... i couldnt help it ...i loved being so close just like that night at coreys house
well he told me that he was gonna break up with em some time later ...and he did it on a friday - i have 1st period with her and i saw the pain in her eyes but it wasnt ment to be ...  she cried and cried and came to me and i was there for her ...well about a week before hand we were talking one night and i asked him randomly who his crushes were ...he told me a few but said that some he just never went for ... well i wanted him to kno i liked him .. i didnt expect anything back but to get it out in the air ...i told him this ...
"what would you say if i told u that u were my 11th grade crush " and he said thats cool
and he said the same...
so now we both kno that we like each other but didnt plan to do anything about it
we kept it from em (( i kno it was wrong of me )) well the day he broke up with em he came to my house for dinner (( mom invited him )) so he came here after school and all ...
that sunday we were talking and my mom came n and talked to him for a minute while i was away ...she told him to basically ask me out - so ..he did and i said yes ..i tried to call em for permission but i got no answer on the phone ...

the next day we went to school as a couple and i told em the only way i new how (( i didnt want her to hate me ,and everyone said it would be better this way )) in a note ... the next time i saw her she said she didnt care ..she just wanted me to be happy ..
well i was releived and so we went on well she was hating me the whole time ...she threatened me and almost had me beat up but i never broke jesses heart ...
she told me to my face that she was my friend but wanted me to die behind my back ... thus me being a "back stabber "to her as a friend i was untrusted because i desired to be happy and to do the same for jesse ...i was being ruled out by everyone for my wanting to be with someone as a happy woman ...

i never regreted saying yes .. not for a second . i was ever so happy every second i spent with him (( just as i am now )) i simply tried to make everyone understnad wat happened ...emerald made everything seem so much worse when she got to the first ...like all my friends in 1st period and all the ppl wishing to participate in beating me up ... i never planned to have him dump her or fall for him ... he didnt dump her for me or anything..it just kinda happened
but im so glad i did i said yes ...like i said i never regreted it and still dont ...if she couldnt handle it than maybe she wasnt a true friend to me ... i am ever so happy and i love him ... she has moved to arizona and everything is so perfect ...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JESSE

HUGS & KISSES